Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A New Beginning

Hey everyone!

So this is my very first blog. I know I'm just a kid, but who knows maybe my youthful experiences will influence yours! Ill tell you some about myself. I'm 16, i belong to the LDS church. WHOA those Mormons! Don't worry I'm not scary. i don't bite.
September is a new beginning for a lot. School ::sigh::, new friends, new experiences, new classes, new grade, new ways to make life interesting. Oh boy! There is nothing more exciting than a new school year. And all kids will agree. I mean i love to do homework on a daily basis! ::chuckle:: So i hear junior year is the hardest, i mean what could i possibly do to make it any easier. I have tons to do this year. This year matters most!! I can't wait to apply for college that brings me one step closer to graduating. phew!

Now i know i can be a bit annoying sometimes but, that's just in my job description. My parents know that why doesn't everyone else.

oh i can go on for days about those knuckle heads. There is so many. you cant live with 'em, you cant live without 'em! I also got some boy trouble. I really like this guy, right? right! Now, this boy, is absolutely beautiful, well at least i think so. he he. Now he liked me last year, good, right? Well then he told me i changed and i was annoying ( he should have read my job description). So since about February i have tried talking to him about still being friends, considering he obviously didn't like me anymore. Here's where it gets juicy. He stopped talking to me completely, except for a few occasions. i would try to be friendly or just try to get things right again, but that never really worked. On June 28th this boy broke my heart once again, cause he obviously has before. I decided to take one last step and talk to him about EVERYTHING, seeing as we haven't really had a normal conversation about it. So i told him i was confused and that i wanted to be friends still but i was done trying to make it work. I told him i didn't know what step to take beyond this last one. I asked him if he had anything to say to me after all of this, as well. He shrugged! He shook his lovely head NO! I got upset, but holding back tears and tried to get something....anything out of him.....nothing..... Eventually after realizing he had nothing to say and could careless about me at all i told him i did not know what to do and stormed off crying into my already drenched with sweat, hands.
I so wanted him to run after me, take me in his arms and just hold me, telling me he did care, and hated to see me cry, then he would look me desperately in the eyes and hold the gaze for a moment, then kiss me deeply, and passionately. Hopeless romantic can you tell. Well as you probably already guessed he didn't chase after me, he stood there, and let me go. Later my mom picked me up and told me that i loved him. BIG STEP! i had never even thought of that possibility before. i mean LOVE what does that even mean. i thought about it and she told me that he had broken my heart and that it hurt so bad because i loved him. For a couple months now, i have come to the realization that yes i do love this boy, maybe not marry have 2 kids and own a house love but, i do love him. i wish so deeply that he would realize this as well. and come back to me. But. wearing my heart on my sleeve isn't the greatest thing to do, I'm too vulnerable, and broken. So yeah, he hasn't talked to me yet.
So, I'm trying to give up on my first love and move on , but as some may know, its much easier said than done.

Enough about me. My sister got engaged like 2 weeks ago. big step. this boys name is Jake and hes pretty cool. he is a return missionary and is good for her. i wish them luck. Although they are getting married 3 days before my birthday i still love my sister! he he
Speaking of my birthday, on my 17th birthday i am getting my license, well, i go for my road test, but I'm so incredibly amazing at driving ill pass in a second! ::snicker::
First, my moms birthday comes. Shes turning like 44 or something ::chuckle:: she always says she doesn't keep track anymore, so i don't. ::giggle:: I love my mom, shes starting to be a substitute teacher, and sometime hopefully teach full time. Shell be an awesome teacher!

To all the beginnings we've had, and to all the ones sneaking up on us, good luck and i hope all starts off well.


Live ♥ Laugh ♥ Love ♥ Lorri ♥ said...

You are absolutely AMAZING! I love you and I will only be 43! Get it straight young lady! LOL!!!
love you so much!

The Tanners said...

I enjoy reading your blog-it is creative and entertaining! Aunt Terra
P.S. Arli is getting married three days before Tracen's birthday too!